Building Strong Evidence and Commentary for the Literary Argument Essay

In the Literary Argument essay, the quality of your evidence and commentary is crucial for earning points in Row B of the rubric. This section focuses on how to select powerful textual evidence and develop effective commentary that connects your evidence to your thesis about displacement in "The Great Gatsby."

What AP Readers Look For

According to the scoring rubric, essays that score well in Row B demonstrate:

1. Specific, relevant evidence that supports all claims in a line of reasoning
2. Commentary that explains how the evidence supports the thesis
3. A clear connection between the evidence and the interpretation of the text

Types of Evidence in Literary Analysis

Here is the prompt we are using to analyze The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald:

Selecting Strong Evidence

Strong evidence for your literary argument should be:

1. Specific - Particular moments, descriptions, dialogue, or actions

2. Relevant - Clearly connected to your argument about displacement

3. Significant - Important to understanding the text's meaning

4. Representative - Characteristic of patterns in the work

Evidence for Displacement in "The Great Gatsby"

Here are strong evidence examples for analyzing displacement in "The Great Gatsby":

For Jay Gatsby's Social Displacement:

1. Gatsby's extravagant mansion and parties designed to impress Daisy
2. The scene where Gatsby shows Daisy his collection of shirts
3. Gatsby's fabricated backstory about being from a wealthy family
4. The appearance of Gatsby's father at the funeral, revealing his humble origins
5. Gatsby's association with criminal figures like Meyer Wolfsheim

For Nick Carraway's Geographic/Moral Displacement:

1. Nick's opening statement about reserving judgment yet coming back "disgusted" from the East
2. Nick's position as both insider and outsider at Gatsby's parties
3. Nick's role in facilitating Gatsby and Daisy's affair
4. Nick's final assessment of the Buchanans as "careless people"
5. Nick's decision to return to the Midwest after the events of the novel

For Daisy Buchanan's Emotional Displacement:

1. Her cynical statement: "I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."
2. Her reaction to Gatsby's shirts: "It makes me sad because I've never seen such—such beautiful shirts before."
3. Her inability to tell Tom she never loved him
4. Her decision to stay with Tom despite his affairs
5. Her absence at Gatsby's funeral

Moving from Evidence to Commentary

Commentary is your analysis of how the evidence supports your interpretation. Strong commentary:

1. Goes beyond simply restating or explaining what happens in the text
2. Analyzes the significance of the evidence
3. Connects the evidence to your thesis about displacement
4. Develops a line of reasoning throughout the essay

Commentary Techniques

Sample Evidence and Commentary Paragraphs

Example 1: Gatsby's Social Displacement

⭐ Topic Sentence: Gatsby's mansion and lavish parties serve as physical manifestations of his attempt to overcome his social displacement through material wealth.

💜 Evidence: "There was music from my neighbor's house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars" (39).

💥 Commentary: Fitzgerald's ethereal imagery of guests coming and going "like moths" suggests both the superficial beauty and the ultimate emptiness of Gatsby's attempt to purchase social belonging. The comparison to moths implies these social interactions are ultimately fleeting and insubstantial, drawn to the light of Gatsby's wealth but not to Gatsby himself. This reinforces Fitzgerald's critique of the American Dream as an illusion that falsely promises social mobility through material success alone. Gatsby's displacement isn't resolved through his wealth; in fact, his conspicuous displays only highlight the unbridgeable gap between himself and the old money elite he desperately wants to join.

Example 2: Nick's Moral Displacement

⭐ Topic Sentence: Nick's positioning between the worlds of East and West Egg allows Fitzgerald to explore the moral displacement that occurs when traditional values confront modern cynicism.

💜 Evidence: "I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life" (35).

💥 Commentary: Nick's paradoxical experience of being "within and without" perfectly captures his state of moral displacement throughout the novel. As both participant and observer, Nick embodies the tension between being seduced by the glittering world of wealth and privilege while simultaneously recognizing its moral bankruptcy. This duality enables Fitzgerald to critique the corruption of 1920s high society without completely condemning it, acknowledging its allure even while exposing its emptiness. Through Nick's displacement, Fitzgerald suggests that modern American society has lost its moral center, leaving even the most grounded individuals like Nick struggling to maintain their ethical bearings.

Common Problems with Evidence and Commentary

Building a Line of Reasoning

A line of reasoning is the logical progression of your argument throughout the essay. To maintain a clear line of reasoning:

1. Arrange paragraphs in a logical order that develops your thesis
2. Use topic sentences that connect each paragraph to your overall argument
3. Show how different examples of displacement contribute to the text's meaning
4. Build complexity as your essay progresses
5. Consider alternative interpretations where appropriate

In the next study guide, we'll explore how to achieve sophistication in your literary analysis by identifying complexities and tensions within the text, contextualizing your interpretation, and developing a vivid, persuasive style.