Building Strong Evidence and Commentary for the Argument Essay

In the previous guides, we covered the fundamentals of argument writing and learned how to craft strong thesis statements that take defensible positions. Now we'll focus on the heart of your argument: evidence and commentary. This component is worth up to 4 points on your essay—the most heavily weighted element of the scoring rubric. You'll learn how to select compelling evidence and explain how it supports your position.

Understanding Evidence and Commentary

Evidence in argument essays can include:

• Personal experiences
• Observations
• Historical examples
• Hypothetical scenarios
• Common knowledge
• Logical reasoning

Strong commentary must:

• Connect evidence to your thesis
• Explain why the evidence matters
• Show how it supports your position
• Address potential counterarguments

Example Prompt

Let's use this prompt about classroom participation:

Levels of Evidence and Commentary (Based on Scoring Rubric)

0 Points (Does Not Meet Standards)
When evidence and commentary are missing or disconnected

• Simply restates thesis
• Offers no real evidence
• Provides irrelevant information
• Makes unsupported claims

1 Point (Basic)
When evidence and commentary begin to develop

• Provides some evidence but it's mostly general
• Commentary summarizes rather than analyzes
• Connections to thesis are unclear
• Explanations are simplistic

❌ Example using participation prompt: "Some students are shy. This shows why participation grades are unfair."

2 Points (Developing)
When evidence and commentary show clear connections

• Offers specific evidence
• Begins to explain significance
• Makes clear connections
• May be inconsistent

✅ Example: "In my Advanced Physics class, several bright international students rarely speak up during discussions, but they consistently score highest on exams. This demonstrates how participation grades might penalize knowledgeable students who come from cultures where speaking up in class is considered disrespectful."

3 Points (Proficient)
When evidence and commentary develop a strong line of reasoning

• Provides specific, relevant evidence
• Explains significance clearly
• Develops clear line of reasoning
• Addresses counterarguments

✅ Example: "While proponents argue that participation grades prepare students for professional environments, this assumes all professional success requires verbal assertiveness. In fields like software development or research, many professionals contribute through written communication, detailed analysis, or individual problem-solving. Forcing students to develop one specific communication style actually limits their professional preparation rather than enhancing it."

4 Points (Excellent)
When evidence and commentary create compelling argument

• Provides consistently well-chosen evidence
• Develops sophisticated commentary
• Creates compelling line of reasoning
• Demonstrates complex understanding

⭐ Example: "The very students who most need support in our educational system—including English language learners, students with anxiety disorders, and those from cultures that value listening over speaking—are often the ones most harmed by mandatory participation grades. At my school, a talented Vietnamese student who wrote brilliant lab reports and scored perfectly on tests nearly failed Biology because participation was 30% of the grade. This common grading policy doesn't just disadvantage certain students; it actively undermines education's role as an equalizing force in society. While developing communication skills is crucial, we must question whether our current approach to participation actually develops these skills or simply rewards students who already possess them while punishing those who need different types of support."

How to Build Strong Evidence and Commentary

1. Select Relevant Evidence

   • Choose examples that directly support your thesis
   • Use specific details rather than general statements
   • Consider multiple types of evidence
   • Anticipate counterarguments

2. Develop Effective Commentary

   • Explain how evidence supports your claim
   • Show why your evidence matters
   • Make explicit connections to your thesis
   • Address potential objections

3. Create a Line of Reasoning

   • Build connections between paragraphs
   • Show logical progression of ideas
   • Develop increasingly complex arguments
   • Maintain focus on your central claim

Common Evidence and Commentary Pitfalls

Looking Ahead

Next, we'll explore how to demonstrate sophistication in your argument, moving beyond basic analysis to show complex understanding of the issues you discuss.